“Bullying is a unique but complex form of interpersonal aggression, which takes many
forms, and serves different functions and is manifested in different patterns of relationships”
(Swearer et, al, 2015).
What is a bully?
• Someone who intends to intimidate or harm individuals they see as vulnerable,
usually to make themselves feel powerful.
Characteristics Of a Bully: Do You Match Any of These?
• Short temper: gets easily wound up or angry with people or animals for no real
reason.
• Bossy and manipulative towards others.
• Deliberately excludes or ignores certain individuals in a group setting.
• Easily led by peer pressure.
• Associates with people who are bullies.
• Fails to consider other people’s feelings and lacks empathy.
• No self-awareness of how their behaviour affects others.
• Views anger and violence as a positive/necessary approach.
Why Might Someone Become a Bully?
• They have been bullied previously by other people.
• Children and teens who have experienced violence and trauma in their homes are
more likely to model this behaviour and bully others or be the victims of bullying
(Stop Bullying, 2023).
• The individual is unable to say no in peer-pressure situations.
• Teachers may enable this by treating children differently based on abilities, and
modelling their authoritarian behaviour.
• The person may feel they don’t possess any talents and are not as worthy as other
people.
• Bullies usually suffer from low self-esteem, likely caused by the influence of other
people and past experiences.
Bullying can be due to trauma: the psychological, emotional, and physical response to a
distressing event/series of events.
Causes of Trauma
• Physical harm: car accident, badly injuring self during an activity or a violent attack.
• Emotional harm: death or witnessing a distressing event.
• PTSD: those who served in wars.
• Sexual abuse/assault: domestic violence or a victim of rape.
• Medical trauma: undergoing life-threatening surgeries or treatment.
• Childhood trauma: abusive or neglectful caregivers, children left to look after
themselves and possibly siblings from a young age. In turn, growing up faster than a
child with a normal upbringing would.
• Being a victim of bullying.
Mental Health Side of Trauma
• The individual suffers from anxiety, depression, insomnia/nightmares.
• Has difficulty adapting to social situations or sustaining relationships.
• Some traumas can be short-lived, and others can stay with the person throughout
life, especially in ways they fail to notice.
This is where bullying behaviour can form.
Two Common Psychological Defence Methods Associated with Bullying Behaviour:
Projection: the bully may project their unwanted feelings onto other people. By doing this they are shifting the blame in an attempt to avoid confronting these emotions (Smith et, al, 2023).
Displacement: if the bully has previously suffered from abuse or violence in their home life, they might redirect their feelings of powerlessness onto easy targets at school etc, forming a new feeling of authority and power. This will develop into a vicious cycle of picking on innocent people to gain a feeling of control, boosting their overall self-esteem temporarily (Psychology Today, 2023).
How Can You Help Yourself If You Think You Exhibit Bullying Behaviour?
• Step one is always to speak to someone you trust, whether this is a family member,
friend or therapist.
• Make amends with the people you have previously bullied or hurt.
• Think of calmer ways you could react to disagreements.
• Put yourself in the other person’s position (how would you feel if you were being
treated the way they are?).
• Practice self-care and take up hobbies/interests to keep your mind healthy and
occupied.
• Focus on becoming a better person (someone you would feel proud of), you can achieve
this by setting yourself targets or goals.
Treatment Options:
• Psychotherapy
• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
• Support Groups
Remember: bullying others will not make you feel better in the long run, it will only have a
negative effect on your life.
On InPower, we welcome all members at every stage of their healing and growth process. We will provide you with the resources to break through any negative habits and shape you into a version of yourself where you can experience healthy relationships!
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